Here are three myths and truths about an effective program to help men and domestic abuse.
Myth #1
Marital counseling can help the couple improve their relationship.
The Truth:
Offering marital counseling gives the offender a rationalization for his behavior. Couples counseling should only be provided after the offender has successfully completed a reputable domestic violence program, the person who is abused feels safe, and there is no fear that the counseling will invite violence. Marriage counseling is not an appropriate alternative to a domestic violence program.
Myth #2
An anger management framework can teach the offender anger management techniques within the relationship.
The Truth:
The assumption in anger management counseling is that the offender’s stress and anger builds until an incident triggers a violent outburst. Anger management is designed to work with perpetrators of stranger or non-intimate anger problems. Anger management techniques can be an effective component of therapy, but only a part of a domestic violence program. These are two very different clinical approaches.
Myth #3
The dangers of the psychological framework:
Many mental health professionals believe offenders batter because they have psychological problems, and/or family of origin issues, diagnosing them with a variety of disorders. Likewise, they often label battered women with poor self image, co-dependency, or “learned” helplessness.
The Truth:
Focusing on individual psychological problems of an offender at the expense of challenging a male’s beliefs and attitudes about women and male entitlement will not produce significant changes in behavior.
At CTC, we believe in the following truths:
- Offenders have the capacity to change.
- Our therapists are compassionate without colluding.
- Our job is to provide a structured, evidence based approach that teaches innovative skills, techniques, options, and plans for a better relationship, such as:
Sexual respect
Effects of abuse on partners and families
Letting go of anger
Masculinity traps
Destructive and defensive responses
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